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This is a lesson for passionate people who aspire to do MANY great things with themselves and their careers, but yet are sometimes stifled by that very same desire.
From a young age we are taught that if you have a dream, you can make it happen. I agree. However, what if you have MANY dreams and you want to make all of them happen? Then where do you start? Which one is the best to start with? How will you do everything at the same time? Is it really possible to do, be and have everything that you want? I wondered.
These are questions that I found a bit paralyzing a few years ago, post-college, when I wanted to start to make something of myself and make a difference. I had so many ideas, passions and dreams that I wanted to put them all into action. I would get an idea, and think of everything that I wanted to create around the idea, and then get SO overwhelmed with how to make that idea great and still do everything else I deemed important. I worried and stressed about every action and how it would affect my overall plan. Admittedly, I was being a control freak over my life.
The problem was this, I struggled to define myself and what was important to me and in turn I projected those thoughts and feelings of self-doubt on all of my ideas and plans. This was not helping my cause any.
That same week, at my breaking point, I had a perspective-changing conversation with my mentor and it went something like this. [[There is a BIG lesson coming, stay tuned]]
I confessed “Beth, there are SO many things I want to do and I am so anxiety-ridden with where to start. I want to do everything and I want it all to be great but there are just not enough hours in the day. I have no idea where to take my career because there are so many competing priorities that I feel going in one direction will limit me to do the other stuff. I want to be a writer, author a book (one day), a speaker, a coach, a workshop facilitator, a teacher, a motivator, on the radio, maybe tv, have a magazine column, help people, influence, make a difference, all of this but I don’t know how or where to start. I’m exhausted and confused by the mere thought process of all of this…Help!”
She said “D, plain and simple. You CAN do it all, just not at all ONCE.” BAM! Lightbuld off. Aha moment. Call it what you want. I was enlightened.
She suggested starting with one area or goal and making it amazing. Pouring all of my efforts, “me”-ness and love into the project and that the rest will happen organically.
Desperate for relief, I took her advice, and alas, she was right! And four years ago, this month, this very blog was born. An outlet for my ideas, the brainchild of my craft, my medium to connect, learn, listen, experiment and just be me.
Since I let go of the control to do it ALL, I’ve been able to be more open to opportunities with less attachment to the outcome. In the time since then I was asked on a handful of radio guest spots (and had a blast), I graduated from a coach training program and get to partner with amazing people (on the regular), I created The Empowerment Circle (where I get to facilitate workshops and support amazing people), and was asked to be an inspirational keynote speaker at a university conference (such an amazing experience!). I am SO far from achieving all of my dreams, or even at the level of sharing my gifts with the world. But, hey, I am a heck of a lot farther then I was a few years ago. The difference now is also action. Better yet, consistent action.
I eliminated the fear and anxiety of doing everything (and doing it all perfectly) and instead defaulted to action-mode and putting myself out there, consistently. I told myself, and still tell myself, there is nothing more powerful then believing in yourself and your gifts, and then taking action.
The big juicy lesson: Once you hone in on your efforts and focus on ONE goal at a time, doing it really well and giving it your all, opportunities will open up to you that you could have never controlled. Best advice I’ve ever gotten, “just start somewhere, RIGHT NOW.” If you don’t start, you won’t be in the game at all. And that doesn’t sound like any fun now, does it?
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