this is for anyone who has ever had trouble making a decision

Source: Uploaded by user via Lisa on Pinterest

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A lot of people get tripped up when they have to make a decision about their life.

Maybe you are one of those people.

You are great at making decisions related to your career, or relationship… but for the life of you making financial decisions, or decisions about trivial things like picking a spot for dinner, and you are all tied up like a big messy knot.

That’s twisted and totally messed up!

Did you know that making decisions can be fun, easy, light, empowering, confidence-inspiring, and can even give you energy?

The solution is aligning your head and your heart….with your thoughts, your words and your actions. Take notice of your thoughts, actions and words and when they are all in sync versus when you think something, then say another thing, and act in a different way. What happens?

When those three things are OUT of alignment, you are probably feeling really uneasy, nervous, unsure, lacking confidence, second-guessing yourself, feeling initimidated, low energy and just plain ole negative.

However, when the three align… what you think, say and do are all dancing to the same beat… you will experience a rush of confidence, a feeling of ease, happiness, joy, comfort, burst of energy, and you will become a positive magnet. Decisions come easy, your body will mimic how great your heart feels, and you will radiate.

A few steps to get your started:

1. Write down the feelings you want to have after you make a big decision. For me its confidence, energy and trust.

2. Take note to how your body feels when you are making a life decision. Call to mind a recent experience you had. Jot down on paper how you felt. What happened to your cells? Your skin? Your heart rate?

3. Listen to your body signals. This takes a bit of practice but try and read the signals that your heart is telling you. Are your palms sweaty? Your stomach in knots? And your heart racing? Or are you calm, cool and collected? THESE SIGNALS ARE WORTH THEIR WEIGHT IN GOLD!

4. Practice. If something doesn’t feel right, practice identifying where things went off….was it your words that were off (should you have spoke up?) or maybe it was your actions that weren’t in line with your head and your heart? I like to draw this out in the form of a triangle, and label each point: thoughts, words, actions. Go over the scenario in your head keeping your pen on the point of the triangle that felt right and draw a line to the other points that also felt right. The key is to make a triangle. This will help you identify the point that felt off and move forward in working on this aspect in a future scenario.

What is your experience with making decisions? How do you feel when you know you’ve made a great one? Can you feel it in your bones that it’s right? Do you second guess yourself? What is your experience? Tell me below in the comments section!

a small anecdote about when to start when you are attempting to do it all

Source: mth2011.tumblr.com via JaneLYG on Pinterest

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This is a lesson for passionate people who aspire to do MANY great things with themselves and their careers, but yet are sometimes stifled by that very same desire.

From a young age we are taught that if you have a dream, you can make it happen. I agree. However, what if you have MANY dreams and you want to make all of them happen? Then where do you start? Which one is the best to start with? How will you do everything at the same time? Is it really possible to do, be and have everything that you want? I wondered.

These are questions that I found a bit paralyzing a few years ago, post-college, when I wanted to start to make something of myself and make a difference. I had so many ideas, passions and dreams that I wanted to put them all into action. I would get an idea, and think of everything that I wanted to create around the idea, and then get SO overwhelmed with how to make that idea great and still do everything else I deemed important. I worried and stressed about every action and how it would affect my overall plan. Admittedly, I was being a control freak over my life.

The problem was this, I struggled to define myself and what was important to me and in turn I projected those thoughts and feelings of self-doubt on all of my ideas and plans. This was not helping my cause any.

That same week, at my breaking point, I had a perspective-changing conversation with my mentor and it went something like this. [[There is a BIG lesson coming, stay tuned]]

I confessed “Beth, there are SO many things I want to do and I am so anxiety-ridden with where to start. I want to do everything and I want it all to be great but there are just not enough hours in the day. I have no idea where to take my career because there are so many competing priorities that I feel going in one direction will limit me to do the other stuff. I want to be a writer, author a book (one day), a speaker, a coach, a workshop facilitator, a teacher, a motivator, on the radio, maybe tv, have a magazine column, help people, influence, make a difference, all of this but I don’t know how or where to start. I’m exhausted and confused by the mere thought process of all of this…Help!”

She said “D, plain and simple. You CAN do it all, just not at all ONCE.” BAM! Lightbuld off. Aha moment. Call it what you want. I was enlightened.

She suggested starting with one area or goal and making it amazing. Pouring all of my efforts, “me”-ness and love into the project and that the rest will happen organically.

Desperate for relief, I took her advice, and alas, she was right! And four years ago, this month, this very blog was born. An outlet for my ideas, the brainchild of my craft, my medium to connect, learn, listen, experiment and just be me.

Since I let go of the control to do it ALL, I’ve been able to be more open to opportunities with less attachment to the outcome. In the time since then I was asked on a handful of radio guest spots (and had a blast), I graduated from a coach training program and get to partner with amazing people (on the regular), I created The Empowerment Circle (where I get to facilitate workshops and support amazing people), and was asked to be an inspirational keynote speaker at a university conference (such an amazing experience!). I am SO far from achieving all of my dreams, or even at the level of sharing my gifts with the world. But, hey, I am a heck of a lot farther then I was a few years ago. The difference now is also action. Better yet, consistent action.

I eliminated the fear and anxiety of doing everything (and doing it all perfectly) and instead defaulted to action-mode and putting myself out there, consistently. I told myself, and still tell myself, there is nothing more powerful then believing in yourself and your gifts, and then taking action.

The big juicy lesson: Once you hone in on your efforts and focus on ONE goal at a time, doing it really well and giving it your all, opportunities will open up to you that you could have never controlled. Best advice I’ve ever gotten, “just start somewhere, RIGHT NOW.” If you don’t start, you won’t be in the game at all. And that doesn’t sound like any fun now, does it?

Don’t break the bank this year with my perfect gift guide + some good karma + a stress free holiday!

Alright ya’all it’s that time of year again: HOLIDAY SHOPPING, OH yea!! (If you’re not into my savvy shopper, more materialistic side…then this post isn’t for you. I promise to provide my favorite idea for scoring some good holiday karma …

a new definition to ‘a random act of kindness’

Last night something amazing happened.

The E-Circle Spring Session came to a close after 12 inspiring, action-packed weeks. In reflection and gratitude of all the hard work that the circlers put in over the past 12 weeks, we opened our circle to their friends and family. I’m confident in saying I’ve never experienced a room with so much love, support, strength and hope.

Each week in E-Circle we tackled another life skill, concept and wellness topic. Circles are followed by practices and weekly challenges that supplement our weekly session. The last challenge being “do a random act of kindness for a stranger.”

This is where something else amazing happened.

Last nights session focused on self reflection, future goal setting, the present and acknowledgment followed by information on upcoming programs, including Level 1 of an upcoming E-Circle in May. At the end, one of the Circlers offered up their random act of kindness to our guests.

Having experienced the power of transformation, self care and empowerment, this Generous Circler, decided to create an on-the-spot scholarship for someone who is ready to empower themselves but may be letting money stop them or stand in the way of making changes in their life. This was a truly remarkable  moment. One empowered soul giving the gift of empowerment to another. Talk about RANDOM ACT OF KINDNESS, she may have just created a NEW definition for me.

Anyway, the point is that, here in NYC and all over the world we come in contact with countless amounts of strangers every single day. These encounters present a beautiful opportunity to change the world. Yes, you heard me.

Now its your turn. Take on this challenge and do a random act of kindness for a stranger. And watch how, one at a time, we can all CHANGE the world.

In awe and gratitude,
D

More information on the KINDNESS SCHOLARSHIP for E-Circle Level 1 starting on May 10th, visit here. For details on the scholarship, click on the E-Circle logo here:

One Person's Trash is Another's Treasure!

This past weekend my grandparents (Sydell & Milton…cute, right?) moved out of the house they lived in together for 45 years. During this time, they raised 7 children, 12 grandchildren and made countless lifelong memories. Over the last 2 months, it took almost all 21 people (give or take a few) to move them and 45 years (times 21 people) worth of memories. This got me thinking about “stuff” and the meaning of materials things.

My grandmother, god bless her healthy 80-something year old soul, is the ULTIMATE collector. Everything, and I mean EVERYTHING, had a meaning and was saved. By some Professional Organizer’s standards she might have even being considered a mild hoarder. On the surface, one would notice overly full closest, cabinets, and numerous boxes full of old clothes, shoes, trinkets, books, magazines, art projects, photo albums and more. However, once we got started with the cleansing process (after all, they were downsizing from a 6 bedroom house to a 3 bedroom townhouse) I learned a thing or two about the meaning of “stuff.”

What was MOST interesting to me was the impeccable memory that my grandmother had and all of the significant and insignificant stories that went along with each jewelry box, grandfather clock, kitchen appliance, necklace, notepad and bathroom towel. At times it was overwhelming emotional for my grandparents, to face the end of an era in that house, and to start a new chapter of their lives as active 80-somethings (today they are VERY excited to have completed the move and reside in a beautiful and active elderly community on a golf course…not too shabby!). It was most amazing to see what “things” help sculpt and define a lifetime. The moving process even caused me to return to my own apartment looking through my closests, de-cluttering my drawers and asking myself “what does all of this stuff mean?”

Believe it or not, it was very cathartic for me to re-evaluate my “attachement” to some of the material things in my life, and also discard of any of the “stuff” that is meaning-less (I was shocked to rid my small apartment of at least 2-3 large garbage bags). I realized that having meaning-less materials items in your life, home and office, is actually taking up the space for more meaning-ful things. This is an interesting concept if applied to the Law of Physics, stating that no two things can occupy the same space at the same time. Thus, if you are looking for more meaning in your life, in terms of a relationship/career/success/happiness/etc, look around at the material things that make up your life, at home and at work. Ask yourself:

-          Are the things in my environment energizing and fulfilling me?

-          Does this item have a story?

-          Is this meaningful or meaningless?

-          Is this item a necessity or a want? Do I know the difference between a need and a want?

-          Does this item have a positive memory or feeling attached to it or a negative one?

Try to go through your environment and keep only the things that have real meaning to you, things that you love, use and enjoy. Discard or give away items that you don’t use, need, like or anything that has a negative feeling or memory attached. For sentimental keepsakes that you do not wish to throw away, store them in organized containers in your attic or garage. It is okay to keep things that have TRUE meaning to you, but if you feel yourself holding onto a useless memory, get rid of it to make room for the new meaning in your life.

Remember, one man’s TRASH is another man’s TREASURE. To save or make a pretty penny sell gently used items on ebay, or in a yard sale. To score some good karma points, donate gently used clothing and household items to your local church or salvation army.

Cheers!

SMART MONEY BOOTCAMP: 4 Quick Tips That Will Improve Your Life Without Driving You Nuts!

A large part of living THE GREAT LIFE is being smart when it comes to your wallet and bank account. Let’s face it, most people carry around unnecessary stress from not knowing what their financial present and future look like. Fear of the unknown is so common and it often drives our everyday happiness and makes us feel anxious, stressed and moody. Well, what I say to that is, simply having a plan of action and paying just a little more attention to the GREEN STUFF ($$) can ease the stress and take a HUGE weight of your back, and even fatten up that wallet of yours! Cha-Ching!

Here are some quick and easy tips for being Smart and Savvy with your finances that won’t drive you up a wall!

1. SET MONTHLY GOALS. Without driving yourself too crazy, chart out your target monthly spending. Start with the big stuff…rent, utilities, student loans, etc. Then, if you can, chart out a rough estimate of the other stuff…food, gas, happy hour, trip to Target. ADDED BONUS: Tailor your monthly budget so you have some flexibility. Most people steer off course with their budget when they feel suffocated by the strict rules. So leave yourself some wiggle room to buy that new bathing suit for Memorial Day Weekend…no sweat off your back with this plan!

2. GO GREEN! TRANSLATION = Get rid of the PLASTIC and USE CASH. After you’ve subtracted your bills and expenses from your monthly TAKE-HOME, and socked at least 10% away in a savings account, divide that into 4 weeks. That number is what you CAN be spending and should not be exceeding on a weekly basis. To keep track, go to the ATM at the start of each week, take out that amount and ONLY use the GREEN STUFF. Consider your credit card and bank card for an absolute emergency only….shopping, cosmos and manicures DO NOT COUNT!

3. DIY = Do it Yourself! To save some of the GREEN each month, get used to doing some things yourself, instead of paying almost 4 times its worth for the services. Example of things I do myself that the ‘old me’ would have shelled out for…paint my nails, wash my car, and chop my own fruit for a fruit salad. Paying for these things can really add up, and there’s nothing like washing your car on a warm Saturday morning with your significant other…its fun, romantic and inexpensive = WIN/WIN!

4. AUTOMATE! AUTOMATE! AUTOMATE! A lot of us are doing this with our bills already but this one goes ONE STEP FURTHER! Create a savings account and “emergency fund” account that gets direct deposited from your Checking on Pay Day! Don’t freak out now…start with a small number, lets say 5-10% of your paycheck for your savings and then, $25/month in the emergency fund. This way, the money comes right out before you can even think about spending it! I know for me, if I think too hard about this, I could probably justify some good reason why I don’t have to do this. But, bottom line is, I do… and so do you!

There, you survived this short SMART MONEY BOOTCAMP! It wasn’t so bad, was it? If you can start small and put even simple things in place, let’s say…one or two of these tips you will be surprised how much less stress and weight you’ll be carrying around. You’ll decrease stress, worry and fear and increase your wallet and savings account. That’s enough of a reason to me!

Cheers, and remember, don’t drive yourself nuts with this! Have a GREAT day!

SMART MONEY BOOTCAMP: 4 Quick Tips That Will Improve Your Life Without Driving You Nuts!

A large part of living THE GREAT LIFE is being smart when it comes to your wallet and bank account. Let’s face it, most people carry around unnecessary stress from not knowing what their financial present and future look like. Fear of the unknown is so common and it often drives our everyday happiness and makes us feel anxious, stressed and moody. Well, what I say to that is, simply having a plan of action and paying just a little more attention to the GREEN STUFF ($$) can ease the stress and take a HUGE weight of your back, and even fatten up that wallet of yours! Cha-Ching!

Here are some quick and easy tips for being Smart and Savvy with your finances that won’t drive you up a wall!

1. SET MONTHLY GOALS. Without driving yourself too crazy, chart out your target monthly spending. Start with the big stuff…rent, utilities, student loans, etc. Then, if you can, chart out a rough estimate of the other stuff…food, gas, happy hour, trip to Target. ADDED BONUS: Tailor your monthly budget so you have some flexibility. Most people steer off course with their budget when they feel suffocated by the strict rules. So leave yourself some wiggle room to buy that new bathing suit for Memorial Day Weekend…no sweat off your back with this plan!

2. GO GREEN! TRANSLATION = Get rid of the PLASTIC and USE CASH. After you’ve subtracted your bills and expenses from your monthly TAKE-HOME, and socked at least 10% away in a savings account, divide that into 4 weeks. That number is what you CAN be spending and should not be exceeding on a weekly basis. To keep track, go to the ATM at the start of each week, take out that amount and ONLY use the GREEN STUFF. Consider your credit card and bank card for an absolute emergency only….shopping, cosmos and manicures DO NOT COUNT!

3. DIY = Do it Yourself! To save some of the GREEN each month, get used to doing some things yourself, instead of paying almost 4 times its worth for the services. Example of things I do myself that the ‘old me’ would have shelled out for…paint my nails, wash my car, and chop my own fruit for a fruit salad. Paying for these things can really add up, and there’s nothing like washing your car on a warm Saturday morning with your significant other…its fun, romantic and inexpensive = WIN/WIN!

4. AUTOMATE! AUTOMATE! AUTOMATE! A lot of us are doing this with our bills already but this one goes ONE STEP FURTHER! Create a savings account and “emergency fund” account that gets direct deposited from your Checking on Pay Day! Don’t freak out now…start with a small number, lets say 5-10% of your paycheck for your savings and then, $25/month in the emergency fund. This way, the money comes right out before you can even think about spending it! I know for me, if I think too hard about this, I could probably justify some good reason why I don’t have to do this. But, bottom line is, I do… and so do you!

There, you survived this short SMART MONEY BOOTCAMP! It wasn’t so bad, was it? If you can start small and put even simple things in place, let’s say…one or two of these tips you will be surprised how much less stress and weight you’ll be carrying around. You’ll decrease stress, worry and fear and increase your wallet and savings account. That’s enough of a reason to me!

Cheers, and remember, don’t drive yourself nuts with this! Have a GREAT day!

Weekly Wednesday Wisdoms

This weeks BEST and BRIGHTEST in blogs, articles and books! Enjoy! Leave comments on your favorite reads, or link other GREAT articles that you’d like to share in comments below! Have a GREAT day!

Health:
Feel great all year! By @ SelfMagazine Your month-by-month guide to a happy, healthy 2010. Get these reminders by email!

Business:
10 Challenges for Your New Year by @EntMagazine How to make 2010 a successful year for you and your employees.

Career:
What are you doing with your time? By @MsCareerGirl In economics, the principle of scarcity says we have a limited amount of time and resources. What are you doing with yours?

Wealth:
Earning more money: How to turn your skills into services that people will pay for! By @Ramit

Spiritual:
Finding Time For You by Dr. Rob of MindBodySmile.com

Random/Fun:
Jay Leno and Conan O’Brien Poke Fun at Their Plights by @PeopleMag

Wellness:
It’s a New Year…Start Breathing: Part 1 by @WomenonBusiness

Just some Darn Good Paperbacks of the Week:

Love/Relationships:
Crash Course in Love by @SteveBWard and @LoveAgent As seen on @VH1’s Tough Love Series. You can have the love you want…but first you have to do your homework!

Fitness:
Master Your Metabolism by @JillianMichaels The 3 Diet Secrets to Naturally Balancing Your Hormones for a HOT and HEALTHY Body! *Great Read*

What are your favorites blogs, articles or books this week? Why are they GREAT? Share your thoughts by COMMENTING below! Cheers!

Wednesday Wisdoms’

Here are my TOP PICKS for this week’s LATEST and GREATEST blogs, articles and books! Enjoy! Leave comments on your favorite reads, or link other GREAT articles that you’d like to share in comments below! Have a GREAT day!

Health:
New Year, Healthy Year by @womenonbusiness
WebMD’s top 5 resolutions that woman should make in 2010!

Career/Business:
Success is All in the Attitude by @Entmagazine
12 attributes to put you in the right mindset and give you an edge over the competition

Wealth:
Earn More Money in 2010! By @Ramit

Fitness:
10 Diet Foods That Make You Fat by @FitnessMagazine
Some of your favorite diet foods — turkey burgers, granola, yogurt, and more — are shockingly high in calories and fat. Here’s how to recognize 10 common fat traps.

Spiritual:
I Just Invented a New Form of Vision Board by @SpiritualShow

Love/Relationship:
Make Others Desire You By Becoming a More Positive Person by Dr. Jack Ito
Are you a positive person? Becoming more positive will act as a people magnet for other positive people. It will also attract people who want to be more positive, but who are not (you have what they want).

Random/Fun:
Geopocketing- When Twitter Gets Cool Again by @ChrisBrogan
What if we had a way to geo-restrict our OUTGOING tweets for certain uses?

And some Darn Good Paperbacks of the Week:

Wellness:
“Nudge” by Richard H. Thaler and Cass R. Sunstein – Improving Decisions about Health, Wealth and Happiness. A NYT Best Seller and Best Book of the Year Award. Nudge is about choices – how we make them and how we’re led to make better ones.

Fun:
“The Gospel According to Coco Chanel” by Karen Karbo @Karbohemia. Life Lessons from the world’s most elegant woman. A cute, fun and light read for the fashion-loving, with witty and unique philosophies on life, love, success, manners, style and more!

"The Latte Effect" Learn To Harness Your Wealthy Attitude for More Abundance and Financial Freedom Today!

October is my self-declared month of “money.” A few months ago I started thinking about making a cross country move (most of you know how much I travel to, and would love to live in, California). So, as of late, I’ve been doing a 360 analysis of my finances, this includes: a cash flow analysis, my personal budget, and most importantly, my mental “relationship” with money and abundance. I truly believe in taking a holistic approach to money just as you would your mind, body and soul. With the holidays just a few months away, and a potential move on the horizon, it’s time to take charge and save myself the financial stress and angst later on!

A Wealthy Attitude Starts with YOU:

I am a true believer that one of the secrets to wealth starts with having healthy attitudes towards money, attracting abundance and feeling good about your self worth (in terms of numbers). For example, when I work with small business owners and entrepreneurs, a lot of times they struggle to come up with fair prices for their products and services. Well, it all starts with how much you believe you are worth. And, I believe you are worth a heck of A LOT. If you believe in yourself, you increase your self worth. With a high self worth, you will attract more money and abundance. The law of attraction is as simple as that.

The Latte Effect…What would you do with an extra $600 a year??:

Since October first I have been calculating my cash flow and spending habits. I am an extremely visual learning, so I’ve created a chart to keep me on track. In an excel spreadsheet I have created a column for my income, bills, expenses, due dates, money spent and received. It is truly amazing how when you ask yourself “Do I really need this?” before making an impulse purchase, the chances are you don’t. And, therefore, you don’t need to be flushing money down the toilet.

For today on, I am challenging you to take a hold of your financial habits, and to hone in on your unhealthy habits, like “the latte effect.” Let’s say you buy a Latte 3 times per week, at approximately $4 a pop. That’s almost $50 a month JUST ON COFFEE! That’s $600 a YEAR! Would you pass up $600 on the street, or intentionally flush $600 down the toilet? I’m not saying that you can’t drink lattes; I myself LOVE a good vanilla latte once in a while. The point is = I am asking you to TAKE NOTICE of how quickly that $4 flies out of your wallet. I bet you aren’t thinking about how much $$ those warm beverages add up to, and what you could be buying with that extra cash. Examine your other quick-fix spending habits; identify the other “latte-like” things in your life.

Wealthy People Live Within Their Means:

In addition, last night, my Financial Advisor friend told me to STOP USING CREDIT CARDS ALTOGETHER. He said DO NOT SPEND MONEY YOU DO NOT HAVE, right now! And, it makes so much sense. A wealthy person is one who lives within their means. Stop focusing on making more money, and start examine what you do with the money you have. Of course, you will always have opportunities to make more money, but that is NOT the solution, that is the added bonus. More often than not if you develop a healthy foundation for money, set up a plan to save and get-out-of-debt, and start to live within your means, you WILL become wealthy. This is not easier said than done, you just need to attend to developing new healthier financial habits! Financial freedom = a less stressful, more enjoyable lifestyle!

Stop Giving in to Fancy Advertisements…You KNOW what You NEED!

Looking at my finances from the birds eye view has been a very empowering experience, in some way LIFE CHANGING. The most important thing that I’ve learned is that the credit card companies, banks and fancy advertisements WILL NOT dictate how or why I spend my money. I will make healthy financial choices that are good for me, and great for my wallet. Remember, you always have a choice.

Maybe the next time you’ll rethink how badly you “need” that latte?